Now that we've gotten to know each other, I'm sure most of you know that I'm one of those people that absolutely hates change. It literally makes me physically sick. The anxiety that comes with change is pretty killer too. A part of me really dreaded the start of senior year. Even though all through sophomore year I longed for the day when I could give myself the "junior" title, transitioning grades still meant new teachers, new classrooms, new schedule, new classmates. In my opinion, changing 8 hours of my day takes too much effort. But I did it (as if I had a choice) and I didn't hate it. Sure it wont compare to my expectations for senior year, but hey, can anything really? (I pretty much got Senioritis once Spring Break hit)
Junior year was filled with the typical teenage angsty roller coaster of drama - some good, fair share of bad, but all tolerable. Successes include some personal strides and realizations along with the typical *pass all my classes/get straight A's/not make my teachers hate me* type things. Not dying from physics overload is also a pretty big accomplishment (at least in my eyes haha). Try and as much as she may, no matter how much I love Mrs. Gill, there is no way I could survive in her AP Physics class. To all those attempting it next year, I tip my hate off to you (I'll also be the one making you pot after pot of coffee when your screwed and your Web HW is due at midnight) How I'll handle Dewees next year is an entirely different question.
This years failure is well, basically my social life. That kind of died. Epically. (It's buried somewhere in the backyard. I'll have to dig it out for the summer.) Last year, signing up for classes, I didn't necessarily realize what I was getting myself into. But, as the year went on, I think I mastered the fine art of multitasking and balancing (at least to some extent). Yet on the other hand, I wouldn't completely classify this as a failure either. Maybe just an extended vacation. From everybody. It kind of felt nice, not going to lie. Annoying people aren't good for those with a short fuse and an over-anxious mind. Plus, it gave me the opportunity to re-evaluate my priorities and see where I and those around me stood.
Although Junior year wasn't as, to use a technical term, sucky as I expected it to be, I really don't think it'll compare in the slightest to what next year has in store for me. This summer will be filled with wonderful experiences like seeing friends, expanding on my mentoring project, and several wonderful summer programs that will give me the opportunity to experience college life. Oh, and maybe a couple exciting trips up north as well! (Which reminds me of another failure: college preparedness. You have less than a year Lu, get your act together!) Not to be cheesy but I really do feel as if this year has just sped by me without so much as a blink of an eye and I can't believe the end is almost near. That's pretty terrifying. I have absolutely no idea what I want to do. Where I want to go. How I want to live. What to study. What to work. See, this is why the future scares me - its inability to reassure me that everything will work itself out is what I fear most. But then again, I guess thats what it means to grow up. Trying your best and taking everything one step at a time. More so than anything, I feel as if I did everything in my power to prepare myself for the "real world" this year. Plus, I celebrated my 16th AND passed my permit test (in one attempt if I may say so myself :) )
All in all, not a bad year. Not at all. At least, one I'll never forget.
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