Flashback

*A Tribute to Mr. Lentz and 9th Grade English*

I'm sure Sophia will appreciate this one...


How to Embarrass Your Friends

Do your friends make you mad? Do you want to get them back for something they did to you? Do they return your copy of Indiana Jones Raiders of The Lost Ark DVD scratched? Or, are they just stupid? Follow this quick-and-easy how-to and learn how to get them back for all the grief they've caused you!

1. Locate your target. This can typically range anywhere from a best friend to an enemy. If you're into revenge and that kind of stuff, go the enemy route. But if you enjoy some harmless fun, your best pick would be a close friend. The tend to provide you with the most reaction.

2. Learn their schedule by heart. Know what time they get up in the morning. When they eat breakfast (what they eat?) Where they park their car. What kind of car do they drive? Commit these facts to memeory. In no way will you be able to plan your attack if you cannot guess their next move, even before they think of. Plus, this gives you the added bonus of snooping into their personal life, which is always entertaining.

3. Now that you have learned their schedule by heart, it is now time to dig even deeper. Find out their deepest, darkest secret. Are they cheating on their respective other? Did they cheat on that last history test? Smuggling illegal immigrants across the border? Whatever it may be, make sure it's BIG. 

4. You have your victim, and their secret. Now comes the time to pick the location. It is absolutely detrimental to the embarrassing that the place where you choose for it to happen to be public. Masses of people should be there to witness it. Think of it this way: embarrass your friend in his/her car when its just the two of you? Big Whoop. But, embarrass him/her at a public event. with all of their friends/teachers/acquaintances/rivals/church pastors - Now that, dear friend, would be hysterical. In the end it's up to you just how much embarrassment you wish your friend to suffer.

5. Time to put your plan in action: set everything up and arrange to meet your friend. Your last step is to actually come up with the way in which you will embarrass your friend - this is all on you. I don't know your personal life - the method of embarrassment is highly subjective and depends entirely on the situation. You know your friend better than I do - and from all that snooping, you should know what makes them tick by now!

I appreciate the time taken to read this and for now, I leave you with one last piece of advice: Apologize. I understand it was probably meant as a joke, but just to be safe and to avoid any law suits, make sure your friend knows that too. Tell them they shouldn't feel bad about it, that it's something they should probable get used to. Best of Luck!

*Disclaimer: I by no means endorse the embarrassing of one's friends and cannot be held liable for any damage or trauma suffered*