How to...

Shop at the Peddler's Mall...

Okay so you want to go to the best retail place in the city, right? You've got some money and you want to maximize your purchasing power and get completely unique stuff. Of course you will go to the Peddler's Mall... but how exactly does one go about it best?

It's an interesting (and kind of intimidating) experience. The first thing you'll have to do is budget at least three hours for a comprehensive trip. The building looks massive on the inside, but i can promise you it seems so much bigger inside. The whole building is packed in every foot of available space with stuff for sale and the layout is so confusing you are almost guaranteed to get lost during your first trip. That brings me to the second step - move through the store in a consistent pattern. That is the only way to make sure you see everything without getting lost. Circle around the building, weave up and down aisles, do whatever you have to do but be consistent. Make sure you check the upstairs and adjacent buildings. What you see when you walk in is about a third of the entire place, like I said, it is huge.

When it comes to what to bring, I suggest bringing a minimum of 20 dollars. Fifty is better and can get you nearly any medium or small sized thing you are looking for (for example I found a cast iron wood burning stove from the '30s for only forty dollars, and a fully functioning 1940s typewriter for 45 dollars, they have more expensive items like katanas for 60 and some larger/older/rarer items go up to around 125, but there is rarely anything past that. However, there's an antiques section that I've never been in to since everything there is completely out of my price range.) I'd also suggest wearing older clothes you don't mind getting dusty or dirty. The stuff you'll find is old and its beat up. Some of the things you touch will rub off on you. Try to touch things as little as possible and never buy stuffed animals or blankets (or clothes) from there. You have no idea what has happened to these things, and fabrics are a lot harder to clean than wood, plastic, metal, etc. This is especially true with stuffed animals, which hold really gross stuff deep within the stuffing for decades.

Finally, don't torment your friends. You'll find some creepy things (torn up abandoned strollers that are at least 60 years old, mirrors that you'd expect Bloody Mary to pop up in, and hundreds of evil looking dolls.) If your friend gets freaked out leave them alone and don't force them into really freaky stalls filled with satanic looking dolls that are most likely haunted with the spirit of some angry 80 year dead child.

Follow those rules and you'll have the best shopping experience this city has to offer. Happy hunting!