Laziness, the New Productivity

      There's no use in denying it; you're not alone. Why do something when you can just...not? We've all fallen victim to that moment where you find it the most difficult task in the entire world to literally use your muscles and force yourself up off the cushioned protection of the couch. And not only that because afterwards, you're expected to actually lift your legs, one by one, and move them, forward and backwards, just to get to another location. Just writing about such strenuous physical activity leaves me out of breath. Imagine having to go through with it - the horror! The notion is absurd. In a world where technology is so abundant that it can easily replicate any human action, from cooking dinner, to thinking for you, to bathing you, why not take advantage? I certainly see no reason why we shouldn't revel in its magnificence. In fact, besides blinking, which is arduous on its own as it is, the human being should never be forced to engage in any physical movement. Down with bikes! Wheelchairs for all!
      Imagine a place where you no longer have to make excuses for your desire to bum around because it's the norm. Such a vivid picture of this utopian dream brings tears to my eyes. The movie Up really knew what it was talking about. The way things are moving now, it easily foreshadowed where our civilization could be in several years - all of us never having to lift a finger, getting transported by magical floating wheelchairs and so splendidly corpulent that our glorious rolls of skin spill out over the edges of our (freakishly tiny) seats. As they say, a fat pig is a happy pig and aren't pigs, who sleep all day in their own waste, only rising out of the sludge to eat, the happiest of any animals? Soon our nation would be rid of all luxury and individuality - Why worry when there will only be one choice? Less mental exercise is an added bonus to the physical inactivity that would let us live our lives so gayly. Houses would become obsolete - we would all sleep in our floating chairs and simply used them in the daytime as well. Picture it, in a world where we would have to never do anything physical, we would have so much more free time to...to...now what? Maybe the first step is getting a move on those chairs. Yeah, that sounds good! They'll really add a whole new level to this lively vision. But maybe just not right now...I'm not really feeling it...I'm kind of tired...I'll just let someone else take care of it for me while I take a nap. Yeah...that sounds good.